It seems it will always rain on my birthday, but that’s Ok. As I went for a walk this morning I knew it would rain from the dark, threatening clouds in the distance. But I don’t always prefer sunny days. They are beautiful, but sometimes I like that special feeling that comes with heavy rain, dark stormy skies and glimpses of brilliant sunlight inbetween.
The weather in Norway is so different from what I experienced in California. Sometimes I miss being able to wear t-shirts all summer long, but I won’t miss the sky that remained a steady blue for weeks at the time.
I like the changing weather in Norway. I like the power of it. I’m not sure what other words to use than power….energy. The sky is alive. It changes all the time, from rolling clouds to dazzling sunlight.
Today I wish for thunder, loud cracks of it. I’ve been waiting for it, it feels like its supposed to be thundering today, yet nothing happens.
My mom used to tell me that Thor was riding across the sky in his chariot whenever there was thunder. I knew it was made up, but I still loved the magic of it.
So today is my birthday. I haven’t truly celebrated it since I was a child. I made chocolate banana bread yesterday and I ate it all up today, giving myself a stomach ache. For breakfast I ate a small plateful of violet flowers. Fairy food!
I knew there would be magic though. My husband and I traveled to the retreat place and I just knew it would be a life changing visit. I knew I would love the lady who owns it. A true kindred spirit that I could open myself up to instantly.
The place has a Christian feel it, yet feels very open, free. There is no pressure to follow any belief system and there is a focus on going within to find peace, love, connection to God. I’m not Christian but I’m drawn to prayer and to people who are searching for something deeply spiritual.
She invited us into her home and I was happy to be offered peppermint tea. That in itself is unusual and Norwegians usually only drink coffee, and sometimes black tea. I don’t like caffein as it makes me spacey.
I felt I loved this woman. We spoke for a while and shared experiences of grief and love. She invited us back and I hope it won’t be too long until I can return there.
I’m a little embarrassed over how truly starved I am for friends, kindred spirits that I can connect with. I haven’t found any since I returned to Norway, and I’m a little lonely.
A lot of the time I feel there’s something wrong with me when I’m around family and just ‘normal’ people. I can’t open up. Spirituality is such a huge part of my life, and if people are not interested, well then they won’t truly know me.
What is most wonderful is that I feel I’m being guided. I’m beginning to trust what I feel, my intuition, that inner voice. I knew I needed to go to this place and it felt right to be there.
My birthday present is a trip to Greece to visit a dear friend of mine. I feel a glow inside when I think about going, even though I’m scared of traveling alone and meeting new people. I’m still shy. But it feels like I need to go. Perhaps there is something to learn there. I feel I’m being guided.